Are those eyes mine?

When I look in the mirror, I know that the person I'm looking at is me- but it doesn't feel like me.
Imagine a baby looking in the mirror, they see someone, but they don't know it's them. I assume that this is like how I feel, except I have conscience opinions not just observations based on the reflection I see.
It's crazy. I feel a detachment from myself. Nothing about me feels like me.

I'm not who I am supposed to be, but I don't know who I am. I know who I want to be but I don't know how to become her.
I feel so lost.
I feel so depressed.
I feel so empty.
I feel so overwhelmed.
I feel so immature.
I feel so lonely.
I feel nothing.

I wish that I could hug me. I wish I could feel real.
I wish that I could be as sympathetic with myself as I am with others.
I wish others could understand me.
I just want someone to give me the answers. I'm tired of trying to figure them out.
I'm tired of being an adult.

I wish I hadn't of put on makeup. I want to cuddle this stuffed animal, but I'm crying and it will get everywhere. Then my grandma would be angry with me for ruining her stuffed animal.

I would trade anything in the world, I would do anything to have my daughter back. She is the only person, the only being in the whole world that brings me happiness. I have fucked up so much in my life, I have been so depressed my entire life- but the one thing I AM good at, is being a mommy.

I am not good with everything regarding mommy-hood. I need to be more mature regarding her father and step mom, but so do they. I need to put aside my fears and just fuckin' do it. Just give the finger to everyone and step up, kick ass, and get her back. I don't want her back for me- if I thought that the best place for her, was where she is- I would step aside and let her be. Her happiness, her well being, her discipline, her education, her life, her future, her now is what is more important to me than anything.
I'm not just saying that for other people. I've thought about this- a lot. It consumes my thoughts a lot of the time. That's another thing I am, I'm honest. Sometimes I'm misinformed, but I'm honest with myself about myself. I'm honest with others, too.

I've calmed down. That means that my mind is going to go into hibernate.
I hope that if you're reading this, you have a better night than I did.